1) A: Do you want to hear a dirty joke?
B: Ok
A: A white horse fell in the mud.
2) Teacher: Did your father help you with your homework?
Student: No, he did it all by himself.
3) A: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi.
B: Yes, sir. You are a taxi.
4) Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea.
Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink.
5) Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?
Student: No. I was standing on it.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
you're the girl
She sells sea-shells on the sea-shore.
The shells she sells are sea-shells, I'm sure.
For if she sells sea-shells on the sea-shore
Then I'm sure she sells sea-shore shells.
The shells she sells are sea-shells, I'm sure.
For if she sells sea-shells on the sea-shore
Then I'm sure she sells sea-shore shells.
stupid lah you,don't read if you're reading means you're stupid
calling people stupid,you're more stupid than the person u scolding it stupid.because you are so stupid to scold people stupid because u think that person is more stupid than u.in truth,you're more stupid than the person you're scolding stupid!
Saturday, April 30, 2011
my science teacher
l like science,when l was 13 my science teacher was Mr Tay,he's a good teacher.Because of him l score quite a high score,it was 70% over.Okay l know it's quite low but l'm a weak student.There are 6 classes altogether,l'm in the 5th class,so to me 70%over is quite high.Mr Tay was very good in his teaching,even my sister said is good.
But when l came to 14.l got a weakerteacher ,not really kind of weak,but still weak.at 14,l only score 60% over.things got to a little worst.my parent always encourage me to score 70% over especially my mum.when l was 14,l told her my science is only 60%.She's a little upset.but l can't blame the teacher cause she's new teacher that time.she was miss bee.But one thing that l always admire is playing with her,playing and having fun with is a wonder to me.
While l come to 15,l'm sitting on PMR examination[something like LPS examination].My dad told me that last time it use to called LPS when Malaysia was under on British
.So this year l will have to sit for it and face it.While now mt science teacher was Mr Tay again. l was happy again,because l get a good teacher again!Well when l use to be 13, l was quite active in the class,even the teacher ask question, l know to wrong,but l also answer rubbish,can almost said l'm quite noisy in class.But still there is some students in the class even more noisy in the class..
When l came to 14,turned l little quiet.l don't really talk much in class only while teacher asking question or l have something to ask .But if even l want to ask ,l will ask personalty.
when l turn to 15 now, l turn even inactive.even sometimes Mr Tay ask question,l know the answer but l refuse to answer.l think this is because my hormones.Fell like afraid is wrong
Well anyway,same thing happen in Mr Tay is getting crazier.School is starting to give extra classes with attendance compulsory and if not we to face principal,last year was weather teacher want to give or not.Classes like 3BIRU[the class which l'm studying now],3 INDIGOO,[form 5 too],5JINGGA and also 5KUNING
One day, it was science extra class.as Mr Tay came in,one of my classmates tried to change her place to sit with their friend so is easier for them to talk while teacher is talking.Let's name the fist letter name,B.How pity Mr Tay caught her and ask her to return to her own place.The girl was in sour face.l was sitting last row and at the side at door.People pass by can see what l'm in thdoing.while sir was teaching,suddenly one of my classmate sitting front of me,let's name her as,MF,she was emergency to call her mother.As l said,this year sir is little crazier,sir ask her why suddenly want to call?Everyone look at MF,she said''Everyone look at me lah . very shy u know''.One of my classmate called DJ said ''cannot see your face then see your boby?''.Sir turn opposite facing the white board and said''ha ya what say?''.MF reply''sir l'm talking to you lah''.sir said to her''people look at you, you ask people don't look at you,now people don't look at you ask people at you,what lah''okay one thing change is also on her.Last time she the noisiest and most naive and don't scare embarrass in the class. but now she's scared of embarrass in the class.So sir let her go.But when B ask she want to sit there with her friend,sir said NO!B complain why MF go so far of telephone and he allow but she just want to sit there not even a meter but sir
don't allow.Sir said that if she sit there the battery mouth
would not finish.the whole class 
laugh like hell.
Mr Tay
miss bee another two beside is my
classmate
But when l came to 14.l got a weakerteacher ,not really kind of weak,but still weak.at 14,l only score 60% over.things got to a little worst.my parent always encourage me to score 70% over especially my mum.when l was 14,l told her my science is only 60%.She's a little upset.but l can't blame the teacher cause she's new teacher that time.she was miss bee.But one thing that l always admire is playing with her,playing and having fun with is a wonder to me.
While l come to 15,l'm sitting on PMR examination[something like LPS examination].My dad told me that last time it use to called LPS when Malaysia was under on British
.So this year l will have to sit for it and face it.While now mt science teacher was Mr Tay again. l was happy again,because l get a good teacher again!Well when l use to be 13, l was quite active in the class,even the teacher ask question, l know to wrong,but l also answer rubbish,can almost said l'm quite noisy in class.But still there is some students in the class even more noisy in the class..
When l came to 14,turned l little quiet.l don't really talk much in class only while teacher asking question or l have something to ask .But if even l want to ask ,l will ask personalty.
when l turn to 15 now, l turn even inactive.even sometimes Mr Tay ask question,l know the answer but l refuse to answer.l think this is because my hormones.Fell like afraid is wrong
Well anyway,same thing happen in Mr Tay is getting crazier.School is starting to give extra classes with attendance compulsory and if not we to face principal,last year was weather teacher want to give or not.Classes like 3BIRU[the class which l'm studying now],3 INDIGOO,[form 5 too],5JINGGA and also 5KUNING
One day, it was science extra class.as Mr Tay came in,one of my classmates tried to change her place to sit with their friend so is easier for them to talk while teacher is talking.Let's name the fist letter name,B.How pity Mr Tay caught her and ask her to return to her own place.The girl was in sour face.l was sitting last row and at the side at door.People pass by can see what l'm in thdoing.while sir was teaching,suddenly one of my classmate sitting front of me,let's name her as,MF,she was emergency to call her mother.As l said,this year sir is little crazier,sir ask her why suddenly want to call?Everyone look at MF,she said''Everyone look at me lah . very shy u know''.One of my classmate called DJ said ''cannot see your face then see your boby?''.Sir turn opposite facing the white board and said''ha ya what say?''.MF reply''sir l'm talking to you lah''.sir said to her''people look at you, you ask people don't look at you,now people don't look at you ask people at you,what lah''okay one thing change is also on her.Last time she the noisiest and most naive and don't scare embarrass in the class. but now she's scared of embarrass in the class.So sir let her go.But when B ask she want to sit there with her friend,sir said NO!B complain why MF go so far of telephone and he allow but she just want to sit there not even a meter but sir
don't allow.Sir said that if she sit there the battery mouth
would not finish.the whole class 
laugh like hell.Mr Tay
miss bee another two beside is my
classmate
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Courtroom Dialogue
Lawyer: Did you blow your horn or anything?
Witness: After the accident?
Lawyer: Before the accident.
Witness: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.
Lawyer: How old is your son? The one living with you.
Witness: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Lawyer: How long has he lived with you?
Witness: Forty-five years.
Lawyer: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
Witness: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Lawyer: And why did that upset you?
Witness: My name is Susan.
Lawyer: How was your first marriage terminated?
Witness: By death.
Lawyer: And by whose death was it terminated?
Lawyer: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo or occult?
Witness: We both do.
Lawyer: Voodoo?
Witness: We do.
Lawyer: You do?
Witness: Yes, voodoo.
Lawyer: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
Witness: Yes.
Lawyer: And what were you doing at that time?
Lawyer: What is your date of birth?
Witness: July fifteenth.
Lawyer: What year?
Witness: Every year.
Lawyer: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?
Witness: Yes.
Lawyer: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
Witness: Yes, sir.
Lawyer: What did she say?
Witness: She said 'What disco am I at?'
Lawyer: Mr. Smith, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
Witness: I went to Europe, Sir.
Lawyer: And you took your new wife?
Lawyer: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
Witness: Yes.
Lawyer: And these stairs, did they go up also?
Lawyer: She had three children, right?
Witness: Yes.
Lawyer: How many were boys?
Witness: None.
Lawyer: Were there any girls?
Lawyer: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
Witness: Yes.
Lawyer: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
Witness: I forget things.
Lawyer: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
Lawyer: Can you describe the individual you saw?
Witness: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Lawyer: Was this a male, or a female?
Witness: After the accident?
Lawyer: Before the accident.
Witness: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.
Lawyer: How old is your son? The one living with you.
Witness: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Lawyer: How long has he lived with you?
Witness: Forty-five years.
Lawyer: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
Witness: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Lawyer: And why did that upset you?
Witness: My name is Susan.
Lawyer: How was your first marriage terminated?
Witness: By death.
Lawyer: And by whose death was it terminated?
Lawyer: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo or occult?
Witness: We both do.
Lawyer: Voodoo?
Witness: We do.
Lawyer: You do?
Witness: Yes, voodoo.
Lawyer: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
Witness: Yes.
Lawyer: And what were you doing at that time?
Lawyer: What is your date of birth?
Witness: July fifteenth.
Lawyer: What year?
Witness: Every year.
Lawyer: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?
Witness: Yes.
Lawyer: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
Witness: Yes, sir.
Lawyer: What did she say?
Witness: She said 'What disco am I at?'
Lawyer: Mr. Smith, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
Witness: I went to Europe, Sir.
Lawyer: And you took your new wife?
Lawyer: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
Witness: Yes.
Lawyer: And these stairs, did they go up also?
Lawyer: She had three children, right?
Witness: Yes.
Lawyer: How many were boys?
Witness: None.
Lawyer: Were there any girls?
Lawyer: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
Witness: Yes.
Lawyer: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
Witness: I forget things.
Lawyer: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
Lawyer: Can you describe the individual you saw?
Witness: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Lawyer: Was this a male, or a female?
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